五年几天

首先，我要谢谢你。

感谢过去五个年头里，你所为我付出过的。

你为我所做的，是我这辈子珍惜的回忆。

跟你分开后的半年里，我曾经茫然失措。

大概这是我第一次失恋，让我跌跌撞撞了好久才找得到站起来的扶手吧。

我想，让我这么感觉这么难受大概是因为对过去舍不得吧。

对我而言，那是太珍贵的回忆了。

放弃，就像是两手空空站在十字路口般惊慌失措。

这条路曾让我惶恐不安过，也后悔过。

感谢当时後的你下定决心不要我回头，成就了现在的我。

偶尔我会想起你那时候你语气不悦地说你是受害者。

可是亲爱的，你不是；我也不是。

感情里，没有任何规则明文规定说被要求分手的那一方就是受害者，好吗？

现在的我，习惯了没有你的日子。

虽然我，偶尔还是有搞不定的小难题。

虽然我，还是会偶尔模仿你的好脾气。

但是我真心地谢谢你所带给我的，

要不是你也许我还是一个失落的灵魂，从不知道要怎么去努力。

我真心地祝福你，前程美满，感情幸福。

过去，我走了；不回头了。

再见，我的好朋友。

两年

再过几天，我妈和我弟离开人世间就满两年了。

那宗意外，带给我的不仅仅是死亡的可怕。
同时，也教会了我生命的短暂。

这两年来，改变了许多事情同时却也保留了一些些过去的特质。
我不再像过去那样难过，却偶尔还是在寂静的夜里想起你们曾经睡过的那间房。
生活迅速地打压着我，让我领悟到了坚强。
是的，像你一样地坚强。

我曾经怪你总是对感情太执着，可是我却还是像你一样选择祝福。
曾经不认同的，却也默默地影响着我。
我想，大概亲密的血缘还是有一定的影响力吧。

很多人说我像你。
其实，我长得不像你。
但是我承认，我性格真的很像你。

在我记忆里的你，是多么地爱自由。
即使你已经是拥有三个小孩的妈，却还是像个女人一样地骄傲自信。
即使你已经逐渐老去，却还是懂什么是时尚。
那个你，是多么让我引以为荣的一名女性。

你所说的，所做的，所想的，还是很深刻地烙在我脑海里。

Current life.

I assumed that humans life are highly related to their perception of life, just like me.

As what Implicit personality theory (IPA) concerns the general expectations that we build about a person after we know something of their central traits. So how you behave is definitely based on your own perception towards the situation.

I guess why I'm stuck in moody situation few weeks ago is highly related to my personality. I used to be a girl who think that everything could be solved easily as I want. For instance, I work hard on studies to get a better results or I read a lot to learned some techniques. However, I forget that there are certain things in life that couldn't be solved by 'work hard', especially love stuff.

OK... I agree with you guys that I'm stupid enough.

Maybe I should learn to accept that love is not under my control. Some people told me that, once you start the engine of love, you don't have choice to make an emergency break. Oh, you don't? I don't know. I'm pretty sure for it is not my main study any-more, at least for my current life.

As it went away from me, I've lot of plan to go. Well, I know it is long way.

This time, I'm still hold on my belief which is everything could be solve through 'work hard', except of love. ;-)

Uncanny?

There are few times of my life that I was avoid to be back home. I was afraid to face the feelings of lost and avoid to confront my depressed towards the lost of my family. I guess I haven't ready to accept that new family members had replace the position of my mum, at that moment.

However, things change this few weeks. The stressful life of exam makes me become very down and tension. I was drown in the sea of anxiety and seeks for mental support. I tried to make few calls and seek for belongingness.

The first call that I make is to my formal love. It seems like everything is end, and the boy is not longer that boy I used to know before. From the conversation, I was realise that maybe things is end. It hurt seriously.

And then, I called my sister who is studied in Taiwan. And I guess this is my right called. I never felt that my sister is a good listener before this. We just to argue just because of little amount of money we spent or never talk to each other for few weeks. However, I felt my sister is an adult and grow rapidly than what I expected. She comes to me when I'm in trouble and tell me everything is ok. I guess this is what family. No matter how you fight and argued, they doesn't leave. Home is always where they are. I love it.

I not sure that are all people experienced uncanny in their life towards certain things or not. But I'm pretty sure that it doesn't exist between family members.

Enjoy the moment with your family members, it is precious memory.

When it past, it will never come back.

XO,

Grace.